You Are
by wildspiritontheloose
Summary: Sparrowpaw, a young apprentice of OakClan, believes she is not good enough and feels the need to prove her worth to the Clan. Her mother, Cherryfeather, talks to her kit about her strengths and everything that she is - and will be - to the Clan. Told from Cherryfeather's POV. (One-shot, challenge for CloudClan)


The day had dawned bright, the sun rising up from behind the trees that surrounded the OakClan camp. The Clan woke to the cheerful sounds of birdsong, some blinking their eyes open blearily while others jumped up, ready to begin their day. Cherryfeather was one of the latter, a smile curling at her lips as soon as the warmth of the sun reached her mottled pelt and her green eyes drank in its light.

The pretty queen got up and stretched, unbothered by the loud yawns of Yellowflower's kits, who were also waking. She remembered when her own kits were this young, full of curiosity and youth. There would be more soon and the she-cat would be able to watch both of her litters grow and serve their Clan.

Padding out of the nursery, Cherryfeather set about her morning grooming, rough tongue licking at specks of dust and moss that were stuck to her pelt after a long night of dreaming. Soon, her fur would be returned to its glossy state. What else was there for a queen to do other than take care of her kits and look pretty?

Redkit and Flamekit were soon bouncing their way out of the nursery, causing the she-cat to purr as they pawed at each other. Yellowflower followed them out, amber eyes tired.

"Are your kits not letting you sleep?" Cherryfeather asked as the golden-furred queen began her own morning grooming.

"I'm still puzzling over the fact that you and Goldfur have decided to have a second litter so soon after your first," Yellowflower grumbled in reply. "Redkit and Flamekit will be out of the nursery any day now. Your own kits have only been apprentices for two moons and you're already back for more." She spoke in a grumpy tone, but Cherryfeather knew the other queen was just poking fun at her. The mottled she-cat did not mind, truly, as she knew that her purpose was to be a mother. There was not much else she could do for her Clan.

The mention of her first litter had her scanning the camp clearing for the young apprentices. Dapplepaw, Runningpaw and Sparrowpaw had been apprenticed two moons earlier and were already on their way to becoming fine warriors.

Her green eyes spotted Dapplepaw first. The pretty calico she-cat was stretching in front of the apprentice den and chatting with Smokepaw, one of the older apprentices. She ran off soon after, at the call of her mentor, Breezeheart, leaving Smokepaw to gaze after her. Cherryfeather purred, remembering the way Goldfur had always looked at her when they were still apprentices. She wouldn't be surprised if Dapplepaw and Smokepaw ended up having kits one day.

Next, she searched out Runningpaw. He was hard to miss, having both a boisterous attitude and a bright red tabby pelt. As always, he was challenging the other apprentices to a competition; this one was based around who could catch the most prey. Palepaw and Gentlepaw were nodding, clearly ready to take on the much younger apprentice. From the annoyed look in Palepaw's eyes, Cherryfeather could tell that the tom was only agreeing to Runningpaw's challenge in an effort to get him to stay quiet for the remainder of the day.

The queen's last kit, Sparrowpaw, was not in the camp. She was the youngest of the three, a small tortoiseshell with green eyes identical to her mother's. Cherryfeather often worried about her, knowing Sparrowpaw could be hard on herself, especially when having difficulty learning new things; she would not rest until she had learnt it and gotten it as close to perfect as possible. Seeing her apprenticed to the Clan's deputy, Slatefang, had been both a moment of pride and concern for the queen, as the tom was known for being harsh with his apprentices.

The tortoiseshell apprentice appeared around sunhigh, having returned from a hunting patrol. In her jaws hung a little mouse, which she dropped on the freshkill pile unceremoniously before turning and angrily stomping towards the apprentice den. Slatefang gazed after her, a stone-like expression on his face, before heaving a sigh and making his way over to Cherryfeather.

"Cherryfeather," the blue-gray deputy called in his gravelly voice. The queen, who had been bathing in the sunlight outside of the nursery, picked up on a note of exasperation in the tom's voice.

"Slatefang," she replied, with a nod. "Is something wrong?"

The tom settled down beside her, sitting in his usual stiff way. "I just wanted to talk about Sparrowpaw."

The mottled queen was not surprised. Had her earlier concerns been noticed by Slatefang as well?

"Sparrowpaw is a great apprentice," Slatefang began. "Her hunting techniques are solid, her fighting ones are coming along and, besides that, she is the best climber out of all of the apprentices." Cherryfeather felt a sense of pride growing at her youngest kit's success.

"But Sparrowpaw is... difficult. She likes to put herself down during training and, even if I praise her, she rarely believes that she is doing well enough." Slatefang sighed. "I'm scared that she's going to exhaust herself, both mentally and physically before getting to where she wants to be. Already, she hasn't been eating as much, using her breaks to squeeze in extra practice time and perfect her techniques."

The queen listened attentively, suddenly worried about the tortoiseshell apprentice. She had always known that Sparrowpaw was hard-working, but would have never assumed that it would get to the point where she did nothing else but work. Cherryfeather knew exactly how determined Sparrowpaw could be.

"I'll speak with her," the she-cat assured her deputy and watched as he heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Cherryfeather," he replied. "It would be a shame to lose an apprentice like her. She shows so much promise." With a nod of his head, he was gone, leaving Cherryfeather to ponder what she should do next.

Heaving herself to her feet, she padded over to the apprentice. Popping her head in through the bramble entrance, she could just make out Sparrowpaw's form in the fading light.

"Sparrowpaw?" Cherryfeather called, watching as the tortoiseshell's ears swivelled in her direction. "Would you mind taking a walk in the forest with me?" The queen knew that Sparrowpaw loved to observe the sights and sounds of the forest, and used it to her advantage.

Soon, the mother and daughter were padding into the forest. Cherryfeather observed Sparrowpaw to the best of her abilities and found her tense and angry. Deciding to get the apprentice to relax a little bit first before speaking with her, the queen called a race to the Great Oak, picking up her pace as she went.

Sparrowpaw was much faster than the pregnant queen, of course, but it served to improve the apprentice's mood a little bit. Though not as competitive as her brother, Cherryfeather knew that the she-cat also couldn't pass up a good challenge.

When they reached the Great Oak, Cherryfeather collapsed in a heap, laughing and out of breath. Sparrowpaw breathed hard next to her, a small smile playing at her lips.

"Do you think we should hunt while we're here?" Sparrowpaw asked, looking up at the surrounding trees. Somewhere in the uppermost branches chittered a squirrel and the chirps of birds could be heard.

"I think you've done enough hunting for one day," Cherryfeather replied. "Weren't you just on hunting patrol?"

Sparrowpaw nodded, but her green eyes grew dark. "I only caught one little mouse. That's not enough to feed the Clan." Her shoulders were tense once more.

"Only the other day you brought back a squirrel, two birds and a vole," her mother reminded her. "Not every day needs to be a good hunting day. Some days are better; some worse. Besides, you're not the only cat in the Clan. It's a group effort." She smiled kindly at the apprentice.

The words had the opposite effect of what she had hoped. Sparrowpaw grew even more tense and she turned away from her mother.

"How else am I supposed to prove my worth to the Clan?" she asked quietly.

Cherryfeather didn't know what to say. In fact, she had not thought that Sparrowpaw felt this way at all. She had assumed that her approach to apprentice training and duties resulted from her personality. That Sparrowpaw felt she was needed to prove her worth to the Clan was upsetting to the queen.

"Why would you ever need to do that?" the queen asked.

There was silence between the mother and daughter, only broken by the rustling of leaves as the wind whistled through them. Sparrowpaw still could not meet her mother's eyes and was shuffling her paws in front of her.

Finally, she said, "I just don't feel like I'm good enough."

Her mother still could not wrap her head around her daughter's words. At seeing the puzzled look in her mother's eyes, Sparrowpaw finally snapped.

"Slatefang is always pushing me to learn new hunting and fighting techniques, as if the ones I've already learnt aren't good enough. Dapplepaw is better liked by the other apprentices and they're always following her around. Runningpaw is always beating me at his stupid little competitions. Palepaw is fierce and will make a great warrior someday; Gentlepaw will probably be a mother before long; Smokepaw is strong and fast and will probably be deputy when he's older..."

Sparrowpaw paused, running out of breath. "And then there's me. What am I? What will I be some day? I'm not special. I feel like I don't have a place in the Clan and I need to prove myself to find one."

The tortoiseshell apprentice suddenly looked so small and lost that Cherryfeather wrapped her tail around her. She herself understood what it felt like to feel this way, having been similar to Sparrowpaw when she herself was an apprentice. It was only when Falconstar had showed her a few hunting techniques and Goldfur had become the father of her kits that she felt that she was actually contributing to OakClan.

"You do have a place in the Clan," Cherryfeather began simply. "You did the moment you were born. You are Sparrowpaw, mine and Goldfur's daughter, an apprentice of OakClan."

Sparrowpaw still did not looked convinced.

"But you are so much more than that, my little bird," the queen continued. "You are Slatefang's hard-working apprentice, practicing each and every technique he gives you until it is as close to perfection as possible. There's a reason why he's giving you more techniques to learn and it's because you've already mastered the earlier ones. He even told me you're the best climber in the apprentice den." This served to brighten Sparrowpaw's demeanor.

"You are determined, rising to each one of Runningpaw's challenges. You are independent and don't need the support of your fellow apprentices like Dapplepaw does. You are hard working and there has not been a single time you've come back to camp without prey while out hunting."

It was now that her daughter finally looked up and their matching green eyes met. To Cherryfeather's surprise, Sparrowpaw's eyes were glistening, as if she were about to cry.

"You are Sparrowpaw. You don't need to prove your worth because the Clan already accepts you for who you are."

It had been two moons since the queen had felt the warmth of her kits beside her and, all of a sudden, it was back again. Sparrowpaw had thrust her head into her mother's chest, shuffling closer to her mother, as if the larger she-cat could protect her from the world.

"Thank you, ma," whispered Sparrowpaw. Cherryfeather purred, licking the top of the tortoiseshell's head.

"What you do need to do is make sure you're eating properly. OakClan wouldn't want a half-starved apprentice hunting and fighting for them, now would they?" Cherryfeather flicked the top of Sparrowpaw's ear with her tail affectionately and her daughter purred back at her, nodding.

"Come on, let's get back to camp before Slatefang gets anxious," the queen continued. "He'll probably want to get some training in today." Sparrowpaw nodded enthusiastically, her excitement at the prospect of training with her mentor rekindled after her mother's talk with her.

Cherryfeather followed her daughter through the thick undergrowth of OakClan territory, watching the she-cat weave her way through the tall trees and scraggly bushes. Each step Sparrowpaw took was purposeful, her head held high and ears and eyes alert. Her mother watched her from behind, pride glimmering in her green eyes, one thought in her head.

_You are going to be a leader someday, my little bird._

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><p><strong>AN: Wow, got a little carried away there. Definitely did not think I would end up with over 2k words for this challenge. Even though it is a tad bit long, I hope you enjoyed it all the same. If you caught any mistakes, please let me know, and, as always, reviews are much appreciated.**

**- Spirit**


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